


Why the Turks Can't Have Nice Things

by imadra_blue



Category: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: 100-1000 Words, Canon - Video Game, Gen, Humor, POV Third Person, Post-Canon, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-28
Updated: 2009-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-05 09:23:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imadra_blue/pseuds/imadra_blue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reno crashed the company helicopter. Tseng is strangely displeased.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why the Turks Can't Have Nice Things

"You see this?" Tseng asked, gesturing at the crashed helicopter behind him. "This is why we can't have nice things, Reno."

Reno studied the smoking wreckage of their helicopter. Aside from how the front end was crumpled like used tinfoil and the rotor was bent roughly into the shape of Wutai, it did not look that bad. After a few years of work and a week-long search for all the missing parts, he was sure he could fly it again. "It wasn't my fault, you know. That bird cut me off."

"You're blaming the bird?"

"He was a big bird! And he flashed his tail feathers at me."

"Reno. It was a _bird_. They use tail feathers to fly!"

"It was still rude of him. Or her. How do you tell the difference with birds, anyways? None of them wear skirts or pretty pink bows or anything like that to help you out. And I don't mean to sound racist, but they all look alike."

Tseng smacked a hand to his forehead. Reno was impressed. Given the bloody wound on Tseng's temple, he probably had a concussion, but he withstood the self-inflicted blow. Tseng was really a tough guy. Reno expected no less from someone who survived an attack by Sephiroth.

"It's lucky we survived, eh?"

Tseng glared at Reno so harshly that Reno checked his suit to see if it had caught fire again. Luckily, the only signs of fire were from the crash. Reno picked at one of the burnt holes. Cleaning his suit was going to cost. When Reno glanced back up to ask Tseng for an advance on his paycheck, Tseng was on his phone. Big surprise.

After a moment, Tseng flipped his phone shut. "I just called for Elena and Rude to pick me up."

"Oh, great. I was getting hungry, too. Think we can swing by a chicken shack for some lunch?"

"You're not coming. You're walking."

"What? All the way back to Edge?" Reno gaped.

"Yes. It should give you time to think about what you've done. Hope you brought good shoes. You'll want to start now if you'd like to arrive before dinner tomorrow."

"But that's mean!"

Tseng massaged his temples and winced when he brushed his fingers too close to his injury. "I should have known better than to go anywhere with you. You'd think I learn, but oh no, I always let you fly the helicopter. How do I keep forgetting you're an idiot?"

Noting that Tseng was in A Mood, Reno started walking towards what he hoped was the city of Edge. "Hey, uh, Director?" he called behind him. "This isn't coming out of my paycheck, is it?"

Tseng's right eye twitched. "Lucky for you, we crashed in the Midgar ruins, so you won't have to pay for property damage."

"What about the helicopter?"

"That's coming out of your paycheck. Along with my suit."

Reno sighed. So much for his and Rude's winter vacation at the Icicle Inn.

 

_End._


End file.
